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Well, this is an odd thing indeed to put on here, but I thought I'd share it.

35 years ago, when my wife was 12, she was very badly abused by a family friend - he was also her dad's business partner. This went on for 3 years, he was a classic groomer and offender. For many reasons, not least of which was the threats made to her, and against her younger sister, she never reported the matter, nor told her parents - even at that age, she knew her dad would quite possibly have killed the man. Knowing her dad as I do, for as long as I have, I know he would have done him great harm, at the very least.

After a great deal of soul-searching, my wife decided, 2 years ago, to make a formal complaint, precipitated mainly by the fact that our daughter had reached the same age that she was when the abuse started. She gave 9 hours of video interviews, then spent 2 days completely emotionally wrecked by it. He was arrested a while later and charged with numerous rapes and indecent assaults on her. He denied evrything.

His trial started last week. My wife spent over 5 hours in the witness box last Tuesday, this being the day after the jury and defendant (and his second wife, the same age as mine - he's 70 btw) had sat through her video and listened to every detail of what happened. She came through that as wrecked as she was 2 years ago. Her parents have had their grilling, as have her sister and some of her old school friends. I spent an hour in the box on Monday (my wife told me about the abuse, but no details, when we were first together). His ex-wife has given evidence against him too. Yesterday, I went to see him giving his evidence, questioned first by his own barrister, then by the prosecution. For the first time, I listened to what he'd done, in detail. I felt that I should hear it, the least I can do really. It was awful, truly awful. He never reacted. There really are monsters among us. I really don't know how my wife has been such a wonderful, kind and considerate person for all these years, with what he'd done to her being in her thoughts for so long. I would have been screaming for revenge, at the very least, but, even now, she has no hatred for him, which I can't get my head around at all.

Tomorrow, the jury will be sent out to consider their verdict. It'll be what it is - I've seen the vagaries of our justice system in action before. Although I've been impressed with it on the whole, I'm bracing myself for it going the 'wrong' way. We'll see.

Why have I posted this? I suppose to get it off my chest a bit, which is odd, as I don't know anyone on here, I've met not a single one of you, but I feel a bit better in typing it out. The 'system' that my wife stepped into when she made the complaint has been absolutely faultless from the start, it really has - and I've got a cynical, 'insider' viewpoint - but I can't fault the kindness and support she's been given, shining through the professionalism of all concerned. When I first joined the job, things were very different, and this sort of complaint would probably have been 'cuffed', marked off, not taken further. Fortunately, the job has moved on, things have improved no end. We've shed some tears together, no doubt there'll be a lot more to come.

Thanks for listening chaps, back to the Malbec now.....

Pete

Thanks for sharing. That is a tough story, that's unfortunately echoed too often; after many years buried in the past. Brave woman, your wife is. She's done the hard part, and your attitude is wonderful. All the best, let the chips fall as they may.

Kevin M.

milleplod wrote: After a great deal of soul-searching, my wife decided, 2 years ago, to make a formal complaint, precipitated mainly by the fact that our daughter had reached the same age that she was when the abuse started.

Very brave Woman worthy of huge admiration for her bravery.

She, and you, have my total empathy Pete.

I was in "care" as a child in the, now, notorious Bryn Estyn Home, Wrexham. The mental, physical and sexual abuse were a part of daily life there and I still see guys who were there with me named in Court cases in the local papers as they succumbed and went down the life of crime route. Thankfully I went down the educational route and refused to let them "win" by ruining my life. The impact it has had tho' is I find it very hard to trust anyone so relationships become self fulfilling prophecies as partners leave. It's something I've grown to accept now.

Apart from the "occasional" disrespect for speed limits that's about as far as my law breaking goes

I've never had the courage to go down the route of reporting my experiences, but it was the worst kind of paedophile nest of a place. Even when there was an inquiry I never came forward, and I guess the reason I wasn't sought out was my name change (my stepfathers back then of Blacknell, I reverted to Parry at 18)

Your wife sounds an exceptional woman .... bravo Mrs Milleplod I applaud your courage and fortitude ... and I wish you all good luck with your day in court.

As an aside I'd be quite happy for capital punishment to be reinstated for child abuse, it marks the "victim" forever and makes life's struggle that bit harder.

slparry wrote:
Your wife sounds an exceptional woman .... bravo Mrs Milleplod I applaud your courage and fortitude ... and I wish you all good luck with your day in court.

Concurred. I Can't put it any better than that! I hope the result tomorrow is in line with what you hope for.

Thanks for sharing Pete. Let's hope the result is the right one. Best wishes to you and especially your brave wife.

Kudos to you too Steve. Your story makes me grateful for my happy childhood. There are some sick individuals out there and don't they often seem to position themselves for best access to the vulnerable, such as in care homes?

Mike

When I was in Primary school, me and another boy got summoned into the headmasters office for fighting.
I guess I was about 8 or 9.
It's one of those vivid childhood memories because it was so weird.
Although no actual physical abuse took place, he was making suggestions, and saying things that confused me as a child, but as an adult I realize that he was most likely a pervert.
I dread to think how terrible it must be to carry the memory of actual physical abuse with you for the rest of your life.
I hope there is a positive outcome in this case, and the victim can get some sort of closure as a result.

Good luck to you both and let's hope the court case ends as it rightly should. Brave woman Mrs Milliplod and you too Pete for sharing.

A brave man and even braver woman. Thanks for sharing and I hope the bastard gets jailed for a very long time. I also hope that seeing justice done will somehow quell the demons and make the nightmares less frequent. I would have had him disappear quietly.

Morning chaps.

Thanks so much for the replies, they do mean a lot. We're back in Court today -the jury didn't get sent out till 2pm (delayed by defence submissions on points of law, the judge ruled them out though), so they'll be considering their verdict again today. Its very stressful, to put it mildly, very much more so on my wife, who hardly slept a wink last night - her biggest fear is not a 'not guilty' verdict in itself, but that, if that's what it is, people won't have believed her.

He must be convinced he's going to get off - he actually smiled at me yesterday as he walked back into the dock. The rage I felt was instant and extreme, and I'm not that sort of person at all, but I took a deep breath and watched him take the long walk across the courtroom, and then mouthed the word 'fifteen' at him once he was seated. Sentencing guidelines indicate 15 years as a starting point if he is found guilty. I think he got the message.

Anyway chaps, I'll update this as and when.

Thanks again,

Pete

Difficult to reply to this but I wish you both Good Luck and hope the verdict is what it should be

He was found guilty of most of it - remanded into custody for sentencing on Thursday. The judge told him that the offences were very serious, and that the sentence would be reflected in that. He half collapsed in the dock - I managed to smile at him. Job done.

Thanks for the kind words, each and every one of you. I conveyed them to my Mrs a little while ago - she was quite surprised that I'd shared it with a bunch of blokes I'd never even met, but she cried a bit when I read your posts. Support is support, wherever its found. Thank you again.

Pete

Good job well done Mrs Milleplod. The world needs people like you to show others that they cannot do these things and expect to get away with it. Words cannot express the respect I have for you both. Roll on a significant sentence.

Humbug wrote:Good job well done Mrs Milleplod. The world needs people like you to show others that they cannot do these things and expect to get away with it. Words cannot express the respect I have for you both. Roll on a significant sentence.

nods in agreement ......

Pete I reckon the two of you deserve to get away somewhere warm and relaxing for a bit of recharge time

A good result that didn't end in violence. It is a bit of an anticlimax for me for I was looking forward to secure a contract to make him pay for his deeds. All planned out, 50% discount offer etc etc. In all seriousness it must be like a weight that has lifted of your shoulders. I hope the 2 of you can now look forward to life with no regret and wake up in the morning refreshed with the beginning of a new start in life. One of the best gifts of life.