"How many children?" asks the civil servant
"10" replies the girl.
"10???" says the civil servant.. "What are their names?"
"Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec and.....eh...Alec
"Doesn't that get confusing ?"
"Naw..." says the girl "its great because if thur oot playin in the street,
ah gist huv tae shout ALEC, YER DINNER'S READY or ALEC, GO TO BED NOW 'n'
they aw dae it..."
"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed civil
servant.
"Aw 'at's easy," says the girl... "A jist use their surnames."
2) A Glesga burd walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on
the counter.
"Ah'll be back tamorra efternin tae pick up ma dress." she says.
"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear.
"Naw" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise."
3) A Glesga burd is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding.
The paramedics soon arrive on site.
Medic: "It's OK, I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions?"
Girl: "OK"
Medic: "What's your name?"
Girl: "Morag."
Medic: "OK Morag, is this your car?"
Morag: "Yes."
Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"
Morag: "Glesga"
4) A Glesga burd was driving down the M8 when her car
phone rang. It was her boyfriend, urgently warning her, "Listen Doll, I
just heard on the news that thur's a motor gawn the wrang wie oan the M8.
Better watch yersel'!"
"It's no' jist wan motor!" said the girl, "There's fu***n' hunners o'
them!"
5) Another Glesga burd was involved in a serious crash; there's blood
everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till
she's lying flat out on the floor.
Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."
Danielle: "Ok."
Medic: "Ok then how many fingers have I put up?"
Danielle: "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!"
Yogi
