Made I chuckle earlier...
Bloke discussing the alleged escaped lion sighted in rural Essex with his mate. Mate says he knows what to do if he came face to face with it. Apparently, lions find the smell of sh1t from other animals unbearable. "I'd bend down, pick up some poop, lob it at the lion, and while it's reeling in I'd retreat smartly." His mate says, "What if there's no sh1t there?"
"Oh, there would be..."
Radio 2 lion gag
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