New Drive Thru ATM - instructions for use!
Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 8:12 pm
MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
> A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
> "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM
machines
> enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
> Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures
> outlined below when accessing their accounts."
> "After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been
> developed.
> Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."
> MALE PROCEDURE:
> 1. Drive up to the cash machine.
> 2. Put down your car window.
> 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
> 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
> 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
> 6. Put window up.
> 7. Drive off.
>
> FEMALE PROCEDURE:
> Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth.!!!!
> 1. Drive up to cash machine.
> 2. Reverse & back up the required amount to align car window with the
> machine.
> 3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
> 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate
card.
> 5. Tell person on mobile you will call them back and hang up.
> 6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
> 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its
excessive
> distance from the car.
> 8. Insert card.
> 9. Re-insert card the right way.
> 10. Dig through handbag to find diary for PIN written on inside back
page.
>
> 11. Enter PIN.
> 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
> 13. Enter amount of cash required.
> 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
> 15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
> 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
> 17. Write amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of
> chequebook.
> 18. Re-check makeup.
> 19. Drive forward 2 feet.
> 20. Reverse back to cash machine.
> 21. Retrieve card.
> 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the
slot
> provided!
> 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
> 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
> 25. Redial person on mobile.
> 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
> 27. Release Parking Brake.
> A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
> "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM
machines
> enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
> Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures
> outlined below when accessing their accounts."
> "After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been
> developed.
> Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."
> MALE PROCEDURE:
> 1. Drive up to the cash machine.
> 2. Put down your car window.
> 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
> 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
> 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
> 6. Put window up.
> 7. Drive off.
>
> FEMALE PROCEDURE:
> Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth.!!!!
> 1. Drive up to cash machine.
> 2. Reverse & back up the required amount to align car window with the
> machine.
> 3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
> 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate
card.
> 5. Tell person on mobile you will call them back and hang up.
> 6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
> 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its
excessive
> distance from the car.
> 8. Insert card.
> 9. Re-insert card the right way.
> 10. Dig through handbag to find diary for PIN written on inside back
page.
>
> 11. Enter PIN.
> 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
> 13. Enter amount of cash required.
> 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
> 15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
> 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
> 17. Write amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of
> chequebook.
> 18. Re-check makeup.
> 19. Drive forward 2 feet.
> 20. Reverse back to cash machine.
> 21. Retrieve card.
> 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the
slot
> provided!
> 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
> 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
> 25. Redial person on mobile.
> 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
> 27. Release Parking Brake.