I believe Manhood

[Rods]

is the composite of qualities, such as courage,
determination, and vigor, often thought to be appropriate to a man. Not
everybody agrees and there is a lot of discussion about what manhood
really is. The International Council of Manhood hopes to clears up the
confusion by releasing these rules:

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following
circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her
blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The
Crying Game".
(e) When she is using her teeth.

3: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out
of jail within 12 hours.

4: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
limits forever unless you actually marry her.

5: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is
forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

6: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

7: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

8: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought
her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

9: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

10: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

11: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

12: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever.
Issue closed.

13: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

14: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies
until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

15: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must
remain sober enough to fight.

16: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

17: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking
about his choice of beer.

18: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

19: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting
weights:
a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

20: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other
situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you
need.

21: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer
than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.
Hang up if necessary.

22: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend"
have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

23: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

24: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green,
orange or sky blue.

25: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for
Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an
Xbox. End of story.

26: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's
Gymnastics. Ever.

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But
do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with
the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a
broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still
cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"

"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with
the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on
your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and
having the balls to say, "You're next!"

We hope this clears up any confusion,

[Man-of-Mystery]

21: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer
than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.
Hang up if necessary.

...just think of how quickly your phone bills will go down, if you follow this advice!

[Dog Tyred]

8: If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

Like your style