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Aussie ventriloquist

Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 11:20 am
by Mitch1100
An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a Small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi,
'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'
Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.'
Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'
Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'
Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)
Dog: 'Yep'
Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'
Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'
Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'
Kiwi: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'
Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'
Horse: 'Cool'
Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)
Horse: 'Yep'
Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?
Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements.'
Kiwi: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'
Kiwi: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a liar..'

Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 7:46 pm
by GerryB
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 6:28 am
by slparry
phew ...... the Welsh dodged that one ;)

Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 7:40 am
by Dog Tyred
slparry wrote:phew ...... the Welsh dodged that one ;)


Not how I'm going to re-tell it :lol:

DT

Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 9:00 am
by slparry
Dog Tyred wrote:
slparry wrote:phew ...... the Welsh dodged that one ;)


Not how I'm going to re-tell it :lol:

DT


Damn .... I knew it ... mind you I was expecting it from Al not you Greg :P

Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2015 4:09 pm
by er-minio
:D :D

Image

Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2015 12:42 am
by KenG
Dog Tyred wrote:
slparry wrote:phew ...... the Welsh dodged that one ;)


Not how I'm going to re-tell it :lol:

DT


seen the welsh one on bakebook the other day.
it was an irish ventriliquist, probably a relative whils suppin' a guinness :wink:

Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2015 2:01 am
by Blackal
Very clever ventriloquism from Tim Vine

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBOwF5SQA1I

Al :D