Flights

Got some humour to share? The stage is lit and the microphone's live.

Moderators: Gromit, Paul, slparry

User avatar
slparry
Moderator
Posts: 6690
Joined: Sat Sep 20, 2008 7:19 pm
Location: Wrexham
Contact:

Flights

Postby slparry » Mon Oct 14, 2013 6:38 pm

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm.

The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane.

'I'm too young to die', she wails. Then she yells, 'Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?

For a moment there is silence.. Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

Then a brave man stands up in the rear of the plane. He is handsome, tall, well built, with dark hair and deep dark eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt, one button at a time...

No one moves... He removes his shirt... Muscles ripple across his chest she gasps... And he says...

"Here! Iron this, and get me something to eat
--
Steve Parry


Current fleet: '14 F800GS, '87 R80RS, '03 R1100S BoxerCup, '15 R1200RT LE Dynamic, '90 K1

User avatar
das bike u1100s
Posts: 368
Joined: Thu Feb 07, 2008 5:25 pm
Location: westerham, kent

Postby das bike u1100s » Mon Oct 14, 2013 8:02 pm

Silly joke, we all know women cant multi task :lol:
Never touched it, honest!
2019.Triump explorer 1200xca. The upstart
2016. K1200r. Fun, but mad
2004. 2004 bcr, my pride & joy, 70000mls on
2001 ducati st4
2000 yamaha fazer 600. born again
1982 kwacker 1000j2. they did away with the kick start

User avatar
Blackal
Posts: 8261
Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2005 7:53 pm

Postby Blackal » Wed Oct 16, 2013 2:55 pm

I like the farce of this tale..............

It has been reported that an employee for Ansett Australia (Airlines), who happened to have the last name of Gay, got on a plane recently using the company's 'Free Flight' offer for staff. However, when Mr Gay tried to take his seat, he found it being occupied by a fare paying passenger.

So, not to make a fuss, he simply chose another seat. Unknown to Mr Gay another Ansett flight at the airport experienced mechanical problems. The passengers of this flight were being re-routed to various other airplanes.
A few were put on Mr Gay's flight and anyone who was holding a 'free' ticket was being 'bumped'. Ansett officials, armed with a list of these 'freebee' ticket holders boarded the plane, as is the practise, to remove them in favour of fare paying passengers.

Of course, our Mr. Gay was not sitting in his assigned seat as you may remember. So when the Ticket Agent approached the seat where Mr Gay was supposed to be sitting, she asked a startled customer "Are you gay?"

The man, shyly nodded that he was at wich point she demanded: "Then you have to get off the plane." Mr Gay, overhearing what the agent had said, tried to clear up the situation: "You've got the wrong man. I'm Gay!". This caused an angry third passenger to yell "Hell! I'm gay too! They can't kick us all off!".

Confusion reined as more and more passengers began yelling that Ansett had no right to remove gays from their flights.

It is reported that Ansett have refused to comment on the incident.
If I am ever on life support - Unplug me......
Then plug me back in..........

See if that works .....
:?

User avatar
HerrFlick
Posts: 393
Joined: Thu Dec 27, 2012 7:25 am
Location: Brisbane, Australia.

Re: Flights

Postby HerrFlick » Thu Nov 07, 2013 7:38 am

slparry wrote:On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm.

The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane.

'I'm too young to die', she wails. Then she yells, 'Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?

For a moment there is silence.. Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

Then a brave man stands up in the rear of the plane. He is handsome, tall, well built, with dark hair and deep dark eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt, one button at a time...

No one moves... He removes his shirt... Muscles ripple across his chest she gasps... And he says...

"Here! Iron this, and get me something to eat




Snort choke koffff ... coffee everywhere. :)

Reminded me of this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_-dJEQj ... ZOnRyFgpBF


Cheers.
Real torque curves don't have a first derivative. :-^)


Return to “Humour”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 66 guests