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Lucas Electrics

Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 1:14 am
by AZ Pete
Electrical Theory - by Joe Lucas





Positive ground (they meant "earth") depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as smoke.

Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing.

For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical

component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!

The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another.

When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterward.

Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time largely because they consumed large quantities of smoke, requiring very unsightly large wires.

It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid,

Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.

In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.

And remember: A gentleman does not motor about after dark.

Joseph Lucas - The Prince of Darkness

A few Lucas quips:

The Lucas motto: Get home before dark.

Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.
Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.

The three-position Lucas light switch: DIM, FLICKER and OFF.

The other three switch settings: SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.

The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.

Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 6:01 pm
by simon
Ahh,, Joe Lucas.. Prince of Darkness!

Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 6:24 pm
by AZ Pete
Yes, sorry that I couldn't resist posting. I believe that this is the most comprehensive collection of Lucas bashing I had seen. It does bring fond memories of so many beautiful British bikes and cars of my youth though.

Posted: Fri Dec 28, 2012 8:40 am
by oyster
Some time back the adage used to be 'Lucas, candle in a bottle'. Then we discovered Cibie!

Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2012 9:51 pm
by Dai wiskers
Had a Z beam on my Kettle