Valentine's

[oyster]

I bought the wife a new bag and belt for Valentine's.
Now the Hoover works great.

[skiddy boxers]

Top man

[Boxered]

As a valentine treat, I took my missus out for tea and biscuits today, she wasn't impressed at having to give a pint of blood first though

Steve

[soggybottoms]

I was in our works canteen earlier, on Valentine's Day, and saw a beautiful young woman, who I seen around and knew on a "nodding" basis sitting alone at a table. I thought "why not" and walked over to say tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I joined you?" She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"
Blooming 'eck!! Everyone started staring. Naturally, I'm way embarrassed and slink away totally red faced.
After a few minutes, this bird walks over. She smiles and says, "I'm really sorry if I embarrassed you just then. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
I shout, at the top of me lungs, "What do you mean? £100?"

[Boxadog 2000]

I bought the wife a 200 watt lamp


You should have seen her face light up whe she turned it on

Bob

[Taz]

Why do most women get dressed in white?

Well most household appliances are white.

[Taz]

How to spoil a joke. Should read ..............


Why do most women get married in white?

Because most household appliances are white

Ow! Wife just hit me.