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Where do we start ??

Parents, as we all are are getting old. They have both been hospitalised for a while so I rode down to Newcastle for a visit yesterday. Stopped for the night in Hexham and came home today.

A68 was good fun this morning, Edinburgh was a chew, then the M9 was empty and boring. Plus the sciatica was kicking in. No one in front of me, no one coming past. I created some nice S curves in my lane using 1250cc of BMW to massage my buttock .... why not.

Coming towards Stirling M9, M90 junction (footnote .... 14 miles from Scotland's police college) I made a late decision to leave the motorway to take the twisty route home via Glen Devon and Glen Eagles, no hurry and it would be more interesting.

I slowed into the offramp behind an electric MG. I remember studying the badge on the back wondering if it was actually squint .... followed it closely around the roundabout then saw the access I needed. Pulled left and excited. Then in my mirrors I saw the yellow bonnet .... it then illuminated its blue lights ... oh dear.

I pulled over ....

"How close were you to the car when you pulled off the M9?" .... " A car's length" ... "You should be 2 seconds, we have lots of deer strikes. You cannot stop in time if you are that close."

"You pulled left without doing a life saver check, someone on that lane has the priority to go full right around the roundabout."

Then the second police officer started talking at the same time ..... I got frustrated trying to listen to the both ... they continued talking while I took off my gloves, took off my helmet and rested it on the tank in front of me, and removed my ear plugs. "I am struggling to hear you both," I said.

As far as I can see the only crime I have committed is not seeing them behind me .....

So after a good twenty minutes of blah blah blah, "On your way" .... What was that all about???

The only reason I can think of is ... did they see my irrational S curve riding and think I was on DRUGS?

In a moment of isolated calm I was massaging my buttock so that it was ready to react in an emergency ...... Safety First.

The only drugs I take are Ibupropfen, ramipril, and alcohol (when it is safe to do so)

GETTING OLD IS NOT A CRIME .....

I'm with you 100% G, especially on the gluteus maximus massaging and the drugs!

Probably near the end of the shift and better to give you a talking too rather than do something constructive that would make paperwork

As a student in the late 70s I was getting a lift on my pal's DT175 when a traffic car came the other way, did a u-turn and pulled us neatly into a lay-by whereupon 4 policemen then got out.

One put his posh hat on, stepped forward and asked which one of us was going to show him a full licence. When I said "take your pick" he got all shirty and accused us of "looking guilty".

I can only assume he was instructing the others with "that'll be a learner" which blew up in his face, the smug bastard.

Gawaine, you're clearly not trying hard enough if you've only been pulled 3 times, I lost count after about 25 times many years ago.

You know, the rozzers in bonny Scoootland are a legend in their own lunch break.

I've had a number of lectures from them over the years. Maybe it's something in the waters, or possibly a poor sex life, who knows......... but they sure are over- zealous when they get the chance

Ride safe gents, but must importantly enjoy the bloody ride!!

Cheers,
Nick T.

A bit annoying Gawaine but sounds like they were just doing a public service by highlighting a couple of minor errors of safety on your part. Thankfully for you they just imparted some observations and let you go on your way

You can't be too unhappy with only 3 pulls by the Lads 'n' Lasses in Blue (black)

Forget it and move on

BoxerCup R wrote:A bit annoying Gawaine but sounds like they were just doing a public service by highlighting a couple of minor errors of safety on your part. Thankfully for you they just imparted some observations and let you go on your way

You can't be too unhappy with only 3 pulls by the Lads 'n' Lasses in Blue (black)

Forget it and move on

Yup - that's the way to take it.

Think of it as a notice that your rear-obs need a bit of work, and you've got out of the habit of being unobtrusive.