www.boxertrix.com

Had a good old dose of man-flu over the last 4 days, not had a bout in donkey's years....fortunately its on the wane. Of course, all the sympathy and loving care from my Mrs. helped.....or not.

Anyway, feeling much better, but....its done something weird to my sense of taste!! My mouth's got a horrible metallic taste, and everything I eat or drink tastes vile.

There's an unopened bottle of vintage port calling my name at this very moment....but I know that it, too, will taste vile.

I'm considering a Kurust mouthwash and gargle....

Pete

Send me the port, and I'll send you a bottle of mouthwash by return of post

What they call: "Win-Win"

Maybe you're pregnant?


Al

From certain angles, I could, apparently, be mistaken for someone who's pregnant Al!

But I don't think its that. The Mrs says we've not had sex this year, I thought we had tbh.

Pete

I hope the taste buds recover soon, Pete.

About 4 weeks ago, I had a dose of the projectile ralphing for 24 hours. The last thing I had before it happened was a couple of beers. I don't think the beer had anything to do with it, but I couldn't face the thought of beer until this week. Had one on Tuesday and really didn't enjoy it.

Sipping a rather nice white wine, as I type (wine is not my usual grog), and really enjoying it. Am I becoming middle class?

milleplod wrote:Had a good old dose of man-flu over the last 4 days, not had a bout in donkey's years....fortunately its on the wane. Of course, all the sympathy and loving care from my Mrs. helped.....or not.

Anyway, feeling much better, but....its done something weird to my sense of taste!! My mouth's got a horrible metallic taste, and everything I eat or drink tastes vile.

There's an unopened bottle of vintage port calling my name at this very moment....but I know that it, too, will taste vile.

I'm considering a Kurust mouthwash and gargle....

Pete

best cure I've found when that's happened Pete is to have a steaming Madras or Vindaloo .... I normally don't like super hot curries but I've found having one when recovering from manflu sorts out your taste and sinuses

Tbh, I really don't fancy anything alcoholic at all - bloody hell, I hope its not permanent! Odd what you say about white wine though, I had a sip of the port....yeeeughh!.....then a sip of the wife's favourite white (yes, even though I've been dying, she's slurped away regardless....), and that was quite pleasant in comparison. Hmmmmm.

The superhot curry is a good idea Steve - I like them hot anyway, the local curry house does a superb Bengal Naga Masala, my ears were sweating last time I had one!

Pete

Steve - was your curry like this?

This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chilli cook-off in Texas.


________________________________________

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chilli Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park.

Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chilli taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.

Frank: "Recently, I was honoured to be selected as a judge at a chilli cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chilli wouldn't be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3."

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:


CHILLI # 1-MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILLI

Judge # 1-- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge # 2-- Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.

Judge # 3(Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.


CHILLI # 2-AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILLI

Judge # 1-- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge # 2-- Exciting BBQ flavour, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

Judge # 3-- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.


CHILI # 3-FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI

Judge # 1-- Excellent firehouse chilli. Great kick.

Judge # 2-- A bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge # 3-- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the beer.


CHILLI # 4-BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC

Judge # 1-- Black bean chilli with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge # 2-- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chilli.

Judge # 3-- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to look HOT ... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chilli an aphrodisiac?


CHILLI # 5-LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER

Judge # 1-- Meaty, strong chilli. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge # 2-- Chilli using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3-- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chilli had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them.


CHILLI # 6-VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY

Judge # 1-- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chilli. Good balance of spices and peppers.

Judge # 2-- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb

Judge # 3-- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.


CHILLI # 7-SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILLI

Judge # 1-- A mediocre chilli with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2-- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chilli peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Judge # 3-- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chilli, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.


CHILLI # 8-BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILLI

Judge # 1-- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chilli. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2-- This final entry is a good, balanced chilli. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chilli pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chilli?

Judge # 3- No Report

Very funny thread. Quality

hahaha ...

Funny that should come up actually, John (SP250) will confirm we had some friends over from the US for out Scottish tour last year and on the last night they were in the UK we took them for that most traditional of British feasts, a curry night in the local curry house.

We tried our best to advise Scott against going for a Vindaloo as his first ever curry but he just said he was used to nuclear chilli con carne so any curry was going to be pretty tame .....

We didn't mention it further, and we kept diplomatically quiet that he only took two mouthfuls before moving on to the rice and leaving the vindaloo [/url]

LOL.. that just made my day!

Good luck with the taste thing Pete.

Taz wrote:Steve - was your curry like this?

This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chilli cook-off in Texas......

Very good. Reminds me of the curry contest in Edinburgh a few years back when two people were hospitalised:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-15183070

McBoxer wrote:

Taz wrote:Steve - was your curry like this?

This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chilli cook-off in Texas......

Very good. Reminds me of the curry contest in Edinburgh a few years back when two people were hospitalised:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-15183070

excellent !

"It was very painful and felt like I was being chainsawed in the stomach with hot sauce on the chainsaw"